Gender Reveal, God's Reveal

A little over a week ago now, on February 18, Ray and I hosted a "Gender Reveal Party" with the help of our terrific family. For those of you who don't know, a Gender Reveal party is quite simple--it is a fun way to discover the sex of your baby-to-be with close friends and family. An intimate gathering, and an excuse to get together and celebrate. But in His perfect grace, as always, God had so much more to reveal.

In spite of some of the controversy I have read in the blogosphere regarding having parties for such an event, we decided it was how we wanted to reveal and celebrate, and were very blessed for doing so. It was so touching to see the close friends and family who were just as excited to find out with us, and then to celebrate with us the gender of our little chickpea. There were many who couldn't make it and requested pictures and texts as soon as the reveal was made. It truly defines the meaning of family--those who celebrate your successes and mourn your losses with you--because they want to. Family celebrates you out of no obligation other than love.

We decided for our big reveal to take an envelope in which the sonographer had written the gender to Party City, and asked them to fill a provided box with helium balloons of the corresponding color: pink for a girl, blue for a boy. We chose the theme from an old rhyme, "Sugar and Spice and everything nice, that's what girls are made of. Snips and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what boys are made of." We additionally asked each guest to dress in pink or blue to show what they predicted the gender to be.

We had about 95% of the party predicting a boy--including the parents; only three came dressed for the girl, so imagine our surprise when pink balloons came out! I don't have the picture of candid shot of our guests, but it's priceless--four mouths wide open and the rest smiling big. I, who was expecting a boy with my whole heart and mind (see my face?!), was pleasantly surprised. Even a mother's instinct is no match for God's plan.

But as we wound down and only family were left, we began to talk about just how elaborately a simple celebration as this can demonstrate the wonder of God. He knows best. And only He knows at all! We may, with all of the best intentions, think we understand or have figured out what to expect, whether it be through instinct, research, statistics, and even prayer, we become certain that we know what is coming, what God has in store, or what He is creating. The beauty of this is the surprise when God reveals to us what He has been leading us to or preparing us for. Sometimes this surprise may be unpleasant (such as losing a job), and sometimes it may be a wonderful miracle (e.g., the defeat of cancer). But God is continuing to prepare us and ready us for His wonder and plan...He has so much in store. And I believe He delights when we take so much pleasure in discovering and celebrating His surprises, because deep inside we know that it's all working out for Him.

Sitting in Awe

There is something about pregnancy that brings me to my knees in awe of God's amazing design. Maybe it's the 10 hours the sperm has to pursue the egg (that could be a whole separate post!), or the 30 hours for the two to combine, or the 3-4 day trip it takes to get to the uterus, become a blastocyst, and burry into the uterine lining. Who knows...maybe its even that after it's a ball of 16 little cells, it turns into a baby. Yikes!

I remember watching this video when I first discovered I was pregnant that outlined the first 8 or 9 weeks of pregnancy. And as tears came to my eyes, all I could think was, how can people not believe in God? If I didn't already find it in nature, or the multiple events in my life that only could be orchestrated by a higher being, pregnancy has been a hands-down confirmation that God is incredible and knowing and pretty darn smart.

Not that I didn't already know that.

During my 15th week, I was unfortunate enough to experience the ever-dreaded cold--in pregnancy, this is increased ten-fold by your inability to take anything and the feared fact that a simple cold can turn into sinus infections, bronchitis, or worse, pneumonia or flu. I had known that during pregnancy, my immune system was lowered, making me much more susceptible not just to catching the cold, but to it turning into much more. I guess I just attributed this to the fact that my body was working to create the baby, and other things went left on the back burner, as often happens in times of high stress or after surgery. During my search of natural remedies, I stumbled across a trivia fact: when you become pregnanct, your body compromises its own immune system in order to keep your own antibodies from attacking and destroying the fetus.

How cool is that?

Sometimes I think I underestimate God. My body's decreased immune system is not reactive to the pregnancy...it's proactivity at its finest! How much more peaceful I would be if I took that into account on a daily basis and reminded myself that God is more interested in preventing disaster than in helping me get through it. Of course, if I encounter a trial based on my own human error or tendency to desire to take things into my own hands or just the nature of life, He will be there, hand's down, to help/guide/carry me through. But how much easier would it be if I summoned all of that trust into believing that He has my best in mind, and doesn't want me to go through valleys or fall into pits any more than I do. He wants me to get it the first time!

Now that's love.

The Baby Bump

November 27, 2011
I never understood why people were so anxious to get their bump. Of course it’s cute, and yes, it shows the world that you are carrying a child inside of you. It’s a way to shout to the world, “I’m becoming a mother—look at what my body is doing right now!”. But the allure, so to speak, just did not quite make sense. I have to buy new clothes. I have to worry about bumping yet another body part on everything I come across. I have to carry this growing bump around for another few months, hurting my back, feet, and everything else. I'm clumsy enough without it!
But then I got pregnant, and everything changed. I long for that bump not only to tell the world that there is a miracle growing inside of me, but so I do not go back to my inevitable thought process of this growing gut meaning I need to return to the gym or lay off the junk food. It’s a hard mind-set to change. My husband’s grandmother told me at church last week, “You are starting to look thicker in your middle”. While I understand this is meant to be a compliment, it was all I could do not to snap back and say, “Well I am growing a person, and all I can seem to
stomach is comfort food, let alone a workout”. No, alas, these new comments are meant to be compliments, and I should be ever-so-thankful that people know I’m pregnant and do not attribute it to laziness. And even if they do think I’m lounging around, I’m ALLOWED to be lazy for the first time in my life. I should take this excuse and run with it!
Now I’m sure the day will come where these comments become compliments to my mind, and I respond, grinning ear-to-ear, “I know! Thank you!” But that day’s not today. It’s probably nicer to tell a newly pregnant woman she appears tired, or sick. For now, I’ll take them all in stride,
remembering our cognitive restructuring that I have learned through school…”being told I’m thick or getting bigger means I have a HEALTHY baby growing inside of me”. One day…

Morning Sickness

November 15, 2011
The more I think about it, the easier it is to understand that no one knows (even currently or recently pregnant moms) what it is that comes to the aid of the ever-so-awful morning sickness. Because even if you knew, it changes again! For me at first (weeks 4-6), I just needed to eat. To
keep food on my stomach, and sip soda water (carbonated, of course). And while
that tends to continue to hold truth (if I go too long or start to get hungry
and don’t eat almost immediately, the nausea returns!), week 7 it appeared to help if I ate breakfast 2 ½ times! I had my immediate bowl of cereal. Then chips and lemonade (don’t ask why, but it worked!). Then lunch or an egg and cheese biscuit around 11. Other than my
generalized phobia of eating that much food in a day J, I liked that week. It was pretty predictable, and pretty containable, with the occasional ginger chew or hard candy. And once that 11/11:30am lunch passed, I felt pretty decent the remainder of the day, becoming hungry again late afternoon (enough for lunch/2nd lunch), and eating a small dinner once I got home from work.
Then this week comes along. Now, I can’t complain, as I have a co-worker who could not stop throwing up daily, all day long. So my meager spit-up of flem does not hold in comparison. But the multiple morning meals condensed quickly to some dry cereal and apple juice until about
11:30, when I could keep down an English muffin with apple butter. On days like these, I hesitantly and ever-so-slowly sip water and chamomile tea, for fear of putting too much fluid in my stomach, while thinking, “I’m supposed to be drinking how much water?!” And I’ve noticed it tends to help if I at least suck on candied ginger or sugar-free “hard candies” (the off-brand name for things like lifesavers) when I start to become nauseous.
And sea bands. Oh the mystery of the sea band. The first time I tried them, it was out of hope for what I now know to be a pretty mild case of nausea. They ached all day, and when I took them off, the nausea immediately returned with avengance. Now, I have returned to these bands during what I’ll term as my morning sickness becoming reality, but we shall see what happens when they come off. So far, so good. And the B6…well…in spite of reading multiple positive
reviews, after trying my sister-in-law’s leftovers, I’m not convinced. It may be reducing it some? But it may be a placebo effect as well…